The Times I Knew I Was Gay

A tender and funny graphic memoir about identity, love and Willow from BUFFY

Ellie always knew she was different. Contrary and creative, she wore black, obsessed over Willow in BUFFY and somehow never really liked boys. As she grew, so did her fears and a deep sense of unbelonging. From her first communion to her first girlfriend via a swathe of self-denial, awkward encounters and everyday courage, Ellie's journey is told through tender and funny illustrations - a self-portrait sketched out from the heart.

THE TIMES I KNEW I WAS GAY reminds us that sexuality is not often determined by falling in love with others, but by coming to terms with oneself; that people must come out not just once but again and again. Full of vitality and love, it will ring true for anyone who took time to discover who they truly are.

“A really poignant look at the fuzziness and confusions of queer life”

Crewes' beautifully illustrated memoir will appeal to anyone who's had to negotiate the awkward, thrilling, sometimes hilarious, sometimes bewildering loops and cul-de-sacs of the journey into adulthood and self-knowledge. In other words, it's for everyone. A candid, authentic and utterly charming book. - Sarah Waters

Candid, so funny, and super relatable. Perfectly captures all of the confusing, complex, scary, and euphoric realisations in coming to terms with your sexuality. - Alice Oseman, author of Heartstopper

Evocative, authentic and hilarious. As a gay woman I'm constantly looking for content that feels true to my own experiences, that helps me understand myself more. In this book, I found that - Tillie Walden, author of Spinning

A really poignant look at the fuzziness and confusions of queer life - Ruby Tandoh, author of Eat Up

Ellie Crewes' honesty should be applauded in quietly and succinctly challenging a social obsession with trying to fit people's sexualities into restrictive categories - Nicola Streeten, author and co-founder of Laydeez Do Comics

Witty, poignant and beautifully observed - Andy Oliver, Broken Frontier

Charming, honest and very readable - Alex Thomas, Pipedream Comics

Eleanor Crewes is a London-based illustrator and writer. She graduated from Illustration at University of The Arts London in 2016. The Times I Knew I Was Gay was first created as a hand-stitched zine which Crewes biked across London to various comic shops. As demand grew her zine developed into a larger book that she published in 2018 with Good Comics. After selling out the first edition, Crewes expanded it into a fully-fledged memoir with Virago and Scribner for publication in 2020. Crewes currently lives in North London and is working on a children's graphic novel.

A tender and funny graphic memoir about identity, love and Willow from BUFFY Ellie always knew she was different. Contrary and creative, she wore black, obsessed over Willow in BUFFY and somehow never really liked boys. As she grew, so did her fears and a deep sense of unbelonging. From her first communion to her first girlfriend via a swathe of self-denial, awkward encounters and everyday courage, Ellie's journey is told through tender and funny illustrations - a self-portrait sketched out from the heart. THE TIMES I KNEW I WAS GAY reminds us that sexuality is not often determined by falling in love with others, but by coming to terms with oneself; that people must come out not just once but again and again. Full of vitality and love, it will ring true for anyone who took time to discover who they truly are.

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