Quick Pint After Work?

Jargon, cliches, euphemisms . . . lies. Ever wished there was a phrasebook to help you translate all this endless bullsh*t?

When your boss asks 'Can I have a quick word?' (real meaning: I don't have anything to discuss, I just like putting the fear of God into you) or an estate agent describes something as having 'incredible potential' (real meaning: absolute shithole), you'd better have Luke Lewis's essential new book to hand. And if you need a way to spin your latest work disaster, here are numerous tried-and-tested porkies to help you out.

Based on the incredibly popular BuzzFeed series 'What People Say vs What They Mean', this in an indispensible - and hilarious - guide to interpreting secret codes, little white lies and complete and utter bollocks.

Examples from What People Say at Work vs What They Mean:

'Anyone fancy a cup of tea?' - Offer strictly limited to the three people in my immediate vicinity.

'This is beyond my remit' - I can't be arsed to deal with this

'Team player' - Has basic social skills, is not an outright sociopath

'Let's park this for now' - Let's never mention this again

'We wish her all the best in her new job' - Burn in hell, traitor

Luke Lewis is UK Editor of BuzzFeed, the social news and entertainment company. Prior to that he edited the music site NME.COM. He lives in south London with his wife and daughter, and has never knowingly said anything he didn't mean. Honest.

What Book Covers Say vs. What They Mean 'A writer at the peak of his powers' You'll have to take our word for this 'Destined to become a classic' In the author's dreams 'A hilarious page-turner' In the publishers' dreams 'A tour de force' No one knows what this means, but it sounds good 'Dan Brown meets Fifty Shades Of Grey . . . on acid!' Arbitrary mention of two successful things in a desperate bid to get your attention.

Jargon, cliches, euphemisms . . . lies . Ever wished there was a phrasebook to help you translate all this endless bullsh*t?When your boss asks 'Can I have a quick word?' (real meaning: I don't have anything to discuss, I just like putting the fear of God into you ) or an estate agent describes something as having 'incredible potential' (real meaning: absolute shithole ), you'd better have Luke Lewis's essential new book to hand. And if you need a way to spin your latest work disaster, here are numerous tried-and-tested porkies to help you out. Based on the incredibly popular BuzzFeed series 'What People Say vs What They Mean', this in an indispensible - and hilarious - guide to interpreting secret codes, little white lies and complete and utter bollocks.Examples from What People Say at Work vs What They Mean: 'Anyone fancy a cup of tea?' - Offer strictly limited to the three people in my immediate vicinity.'This is beyond my remit' - I can't be arsed to deal with this'Team player' - Has basic social skills, is not an outright sociopath'Let's park this for now' - Let's never mention this again'We wish her all the best in her new job' - Burn in hell, traitor

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