A Portrait of an Idiot as a Young Man

When Jon Holmes became a father (twice), he was asked to fill in a form detailing his family medical history. Except he couldn't, because he has no idea who his family are. Born to an unnamed, unmarried mother and an unknown father and given up for adoption at four weeks old, Jon decided to document his own history, so that one day he could pass it on to his children.

It's a story of how boys grow up to become (stupid) men, of sexual misadventure, of being accidentally shot in the face, of spiders, a ghost, a fatally injured gerbil, American road trips that went wrong, becoming inadvertently locked in Graham Norton's toilet with an Oscar nominated screenwriter, being removed from Mrs Thatcher's vicinity by her security detail and having loving parents who did their best to bring up a child that wasn't theirs.

Part memoir, part hilarious insight into why men are so inept, this is the true story of how an unwanted baby in the Midlands went on to become a wanted man in the state of Texas, and everything that happened in between.

His children will never be allowed to read it.

“Like most men, Jon Holmes is an absolute idiot. Here he explains why.”

Danny Wallace
An honest, hilarious must-read, it's like Caitlin Moran meets The Inbetweeners. Miranda Hart
Laugh-out-loud funny Hugh Dennis
Jon Holmes is as funny as he is short, which is very. Josh Widdicombe
...a masterclass in comedy writing....it's an instantly charming and engaging read, which will endear you to the author, as much as it will revolt and amuse you. Press Association

Jon Holmes is an eight time Sony Award-winning and double BAFTA-winning British writer, comedian and broadcaster. He has also fronted his own BBC Radio 1 show and is a regular presenter on BBC Radio 2. He is now host of The XFM London Breakfast Show.

His website can be found at / and is Twitter is @JonHolmes1

When Jon Holmes became a father (twice), he was asked to fill in a form detailing his family medical history. Except he couldn't, because he has no idea who his family are. Born to an unnamed, unmarried mother and an unknown father and given up for adoption at four weeks old, Jon decided to document his own history, so that one day he could pass it on to his children. It's a story of how boys grow up to become (stupid) men, of sexual misadventure, of being accidentally shot in the face, of spiders, a ghost, a fatally injured gerbil, American road trips that went wrong, becoming inadvertently locked in Graham Norton's toilet with an Oscar nominated screenwriter, being removed from Mrs Thatcher's vicinity by her security detail and having loving parents who did their best to bring up a child that wasn't theirs. Part memoir, part hilarious insight into why men are so inept, this is the true story of how an unwanted baby in the Midlands went on to become a wanted man in the state of Texas, and everything that happened in between.His children will never be allowed to read it.

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