A Teen's Guide to Modern Manners

There's little that's been written yet

Concerning teenage etiquette,

So as a sort of useful guide

Some gruesome cases lie inside

Of teenagers who lost their way

And ultimately had to pay.

You'll read about the tragic fate

Of Pete, who couldn't get a date,

And Jen, whose hopes and dreams were quashed,

And James, who staunchly never washed.

This book could be, and no mistake,

The best investment that you make,

So quickly - pluck it from the shelf!

Or suffer some such fate yourself...

“Delightfully funny and poetic portraits of modern teens-- Buzzfeed”

Hilarious. Bart Simpson meets Adrian Mole at a party thrown by The Inbetweeners. Smart, smelly, spotty and so laugh-out-loud funny it might get you a detention... - Emlyn Rees and Josie Lloyd, authors of We're Going on a Bar Hunt

Delightfully funny and poetic portraits of modern teens - Buzzfeed

Sam Norman was born in London in 1995. After spectacularly failing to assert himself on the child prodigy scene, he spent his early teens writing impressively pretentious poetry, mostly in heroic couplets, and the odd novella. He has won various limerick competitions, been listed in the National Theatre Young Playwriting Competition, and won the Stephen Spender Prize for Poetry in Translation in 2014. He is currently studying at Magdalen College, Oxford. This is his first book of poetry.

There's little that's been written yetConcerning teenage etiquette,So as a sort of useful guideSome gruesome cases lie insideOf teenagers who lost their wayAnd ultimately had to pay.You'll read about the tragic fateOf Pete, who couldn't get a date,And Jen, whose hopes and dreams were quashed, And James, who staunchly never washed.This book could be, and no mistake,The best investment that you make,So quickly - pluck it from the shelf!Or suffer some such fate yourself...

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