Parsnips, Buttered

Dear Reader,

Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed.

While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again.

I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to:

- Reverse a parking fine

- Manipulate the tabloid press

- Navigate social media

- Respond to hate mail

- Out-weird internet trolls

- Contest a so-called ripe avocado

- Send the perfect Christmas newsletter

- Defeat ISIS

- Take down multi-national companies

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE!

Joe Lycett x

If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

“'His uniquely wry and witty humour rolls merrily out from the very first page and we were snorting with laughter like a happy pig throughout. Lots more of the same please Joe! 5s'”

HEAT magazine
'Deceptively subversive . . . He elevates anti-authoritarian pettiness to the level of absurd art . . . A witty rebel' GUARDIAN *

One of the best-loved performers working on the UK circuit, Joe is a rising comedy star with bundles of stage presence and effortless charm.

Joe's television appearances include performing stand-up on programmes such as BBC One's Live At The Apollo and ITV1's Sunday Night At The Palladium, as well as regular appearances on panel shows including Channel 4's 8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown and Would I Lie To You? He is a regular on BBC Radio 4 including a number of appearances on the institution that is Just A Minute and hosts the panel show It's Not What You Know. He's also been on Comedy Central's Drunk History a couple of times, but he can't remember.

In 2012 Joe performed his hotly-anticipated debut tour Some Lycett Hot at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival securing Joe a Foster's Comedy Award Best Newcomer nomination. Joe returned to Edinburgh in 2015 with That's The Way, A-Ha, A-Ha, Joe Lycett to huge audiences and critical acclaim. The show won the Chortle Award for Best Show. He is actively looking for new show titles that include Lycett-based puns.

This is his first book. His first book that he's written. He's read loads of books.

Dear Reader, Life is hard. We are a bombarded generation: Facebook, billboards, Twitter, Instagram, taxes, newspapers, watches monitoring our sleep, apps that read our pulse, terrorism. There's such an onslaught to the senses these days it's a marvel any of us manage to get out of bed. I love bed. While we are overwhelmed and confused by the miasmic cloud of information, there are those that seek to take advantage: there are parking fines, hate Tweets, Nigerian email scams and Christmas newsletters from old school friends about their ugly kids. And just as we're getting round to doing something about it, we're distracted again. I, Joe Lycett, comedian, wordsmith, and professional complainer, am here to help. During my short life of doing largely nothing I've discovered solutions to many of life's problems, which I impart to you, dear Reader. Containing a centurion of complaint letters to unsuspecting celebrities, companies and anyone brave enough to clog up my phone, as well as illustrations, one-liners , jokes and life hacks, this little gem offers you a collection of tips and advice for all manner of modern woe. By the time you have finished reading this book you will have learnt how to: - Reverse a parking fine - Manipulate the tabloid press - Navigate social media - Respond to hate mail - Out-weird internet trolls - Contest a so-called ripe avocado - Send the perfect Christmas newsletter - Defeat ISIS - Take down multi-national companies AND MUCH, MUCH MORE! Joe Lycett x If you are looking for guidance with taxes, quitting smoking, moving house, love, divorce, education, healthcare or anything actually important may I recommend speaking to friends or family members and not consulting a book by a comedian who eats halloumi at least twice a day.

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