The Groom Will Keep His Name

When Matt Ortile's family moved from Manila to Las Vegas, the locals couldn't pronounce his name. Bullied for his brown skin, accent, and femininity, he couldn't wait to move to New York, start over, and leave the past behind him - Filipino name included. In The Groom Will Keep His Name, Ortile traces his journey to an awakening of radical self-love.When we date and mate, we tell stories about ourselves, trying to put our 'best foot forward.' Dating apps and social media have encouraged us to further curate the face we show the world. Our personal myths, however true or false, reveal not just who we are, but who we want to be. The Groom Will Keep His Name explores the various fables Ortile has spun for himself: as a Vassar Girl, an American Boy, a card-carrying member of Gay Twitter, and a Filipino immigrant looking to build a home.With intelligence, wit, and his heart on his sleeve, Matt Ortile examines cruising and one-night stands, DMs and texts, relationships and whateverships that helped him interrogate his queer desire, race, complicity in white supremacy, and solidarity with other marginalized people.

“Matt Ortile's ardent and precocious collection sets the page aflame with its explosive mixture of passion and politics, cultural analysis and self-examination. Cruising through virtual and nocturnal circuits, Ortile riffs like a guitar savant on what it means to be a young wanderer in the city today with astute carnality and endearing candor. The Groom Will Keep His Name is a daring brown and queer manifesto that proclaims to everyone making our way in the world: never bow to the false gods of whiteness and normalcy. -- Meredith Talusan, author of Fairest”

"[Ortile] traverses a multitude of humorous and painful experiences with incisiveness and empathy."
--Bitch.com
"A whip-smart essay collection explores the intersection of race, sexuality and identity through the lens of one queer immigrant's personal history."
--Shelf Awareness, starred
"An intellectually ambitious, politically engaged, ideologically sensitive memoir."
--Kirkus Reviews
"Weaving stories together about his life and the history of the marginalized communities he belongs to, Ortile seamlessly brings readers into the intersections of his experiences."--Alamin Yohannes, EW.com
Matt Ortile writes this book as a kind of open invitation to readers, exploring themes of family (chosen and otherwise), relationships, race and identity with refreshing wit and vulnerability. Some of his essays might remind you of favorite conversations you've had with your sharpest, smartest friends-if you're very lucky, that is, and happen to have friends as thoughtful and brilliant as he is. Wry, funny, and poignant by turns, The Groom Will Keep His Name is an honest and moving account of a young immigrant's evolving understanding of himself, as well as the two countries he's called home.--Nicole Chung, author of All You Can Ever Know
Matt Ortile writes with precision and power, and his work overflows with probing insight both inward and outward facing. Ortile's essays deftly navigate the complicated intersection of race, sex, history, family, and self. Propelled by bracing candor and impeccable skill, The Groom Will Keep His Name rushes straight to the reader's eyeballs, demanding to be read.--Josh Gondelman, author of Nice Try
Matt Ortile's ardent and precocious collection sets the page aflame with its explosive mixture of passion and politics, cultural analysis and self-examination. Cruising through virtual and nocturnal circuits, Ortile riffs like a guitar savant on what it means to be a young wanderer in the city today with astute carnality and endearing candor. The Groom Will Keep His Name is a daring brown and queer manifesto that proclaims to everyone making our way in the world: never bow to the false gods of whiteness and normalcy.--Meredith Talusan, author of Fairest
Ortile's writing is like sex--sensual and vulnerable, sometimes irreverent, and often soaked in layers of meaning, with the ability to make you laugh, make you cry, and lay you bare. The Groom Will Keep His Name is a sumptuous must-read for the queer millennial.--Casey McQuiston, author of Red, White & Royal Blue

Matt Ortile is the managing editor of Catapult magazine. Previously, he was the global publishing lead for BuzzFeed International and the founding editor of BuzzFeed Philippines. His writing has been published by BuzzFeed, Into, Self, and Out, among others. He lives in NYC.

When Matt Ortile's family moved from Manila to Las Vegas, the locals couldn't pronounce his name. Bullied for his brown skin, accent, and femininity, he couldn't wait to move to New York, start over, and leave the past behind him - Filipino name included. In The Groom Will Keep His Name, Ortile traces his journey to an awakening of radical self-love.When we date and mate, we tell stories about ourselves, trying to put our 'best foot forward.' Dating apps and social media have encouraged us to further curate the face we show the world. Our personal myths, however true or false, reveal not just who we are, but who we want to be. The Groom Will Keep His Name explores the various fables Ortile has spun for himself: as a Vassar Girl, an American Boy, a card-carrying member of Gay Twitter, and a Filipino immigrant looking to build a home.With intelligence, wit, and his heart on his sleeve, Matt Ortile examines cruising and one-night stands, DMs and texts, relationships and whateverships that helped him interrogate his queer desire, race, complicity in white supremacy, and solidarity with other marginalized people.

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