What You Really Really Want

In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman,co-editor of Yes Means Yes ,gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we're failures if we don't act sexy, but we're sluts if we actually pursue sex we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve whatever we get" if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.Educational and interactive, What You Really Really Want includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With Friedman's informed advice to guide them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friends,and learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone else's sexuality along the way.

“"Don't have sex before you read this book! With her usual wit and candor, Friedman writes a manual for sex that teaches, engages, surprises and-most important-puts the reader in charge. What You Really Really Want will change the way a generation thinks (and acts!) about sex." ”

--Jessica Valenti, author of The Purity Myth "Too many books in this genre promise certain drive-your-man-wild tricks, or they take a side in the politicized debate over hookup culture. Friedman instead has one thing on her agenda: Getting girls to explore and embrace their own authentic sexual identities without shame, fear or guilt. Instead of arguing for empowerment through one-night stands or, conversely, abstinence, she leaves it up to young women to decide what it is that's best for them. But she also offers guidance along the way, urging them to critically examine the social pressures and media messages that have shaped their understandings of sexiness, sexual fulfillment and love." --Salon.com "It is a book that many readers may wish they had read earlier in their lives, and as a prospective parent, I'm looking forward to making my children read every last word of it." --Rabble.CA "While basically permissive, this valuable guide can also help readers with differing views to organize a personal groundwork according their own perspective. Recommended for women and older teens who seek self-insight." --Library Journal In a world of Pussycat Dolls and virginity pledges, What You Really Really Want carves out a path for real women to have real sex on their own terms. The information and exercises in this book have the power to change your sex life for good." --Susie Bright, activist, author of Big Sex Little Death "There is more significant, sex-positive, shame-free, life-changing knowledge in a few pages of this book than you'll find in the entire public school sex education curriculum." --Tristan Taormino, sex educator, author of The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation

Jaclyn Friedman's work has redefined the concept of "healthy sexuality" and popularized the "yes means yes" standard of sexual consent that is quickly becoming law on many U.S. campuses. She is a popular speaker and opinion writer and the creator of three books: Yes Means Yes, What You Really Really Want and Unscrewed.

In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman,co-editor of Yes Means Yes ,gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we're failures if we don't act sexy, but we're sluts if we actually pursue sex we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve whatever we get" if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality.Educational and interactive, What You Really Really Want includes revealing quizzes, creative exercises, and reality-based advice about sex and sexuality today. With Friedman's informed advice to guide them, readers will build new skills for safely expressing their sexuality with lovers and explore effective ways to talk about tricky issues with family and friends,and learn how to make the world a little safer for everyone else's sexuality along the way.

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