Letters to the Human Race… from the cat

Dear Human Race,

It is with much regret, and a huge sigh of frustration, that I am writing this letter.

For generations you have been taking our goodwill for granted but it behoves me, as a representative for my species, to say 'enough is enough'. You are unpredictable and inconsistent, often behaving in a way that is illogical to us and frankly unhygienic (all that touching!). I believe the modern phrase is 'You just don't get me!'

Well, no more. My fellow felines and I have put pen to paper and paw to keyboard to write a series of letters that I believe will put you on the path to understanding where you've gone wrong. We feel we have covered most of your most common errors - from the food you give us (both the lack of quality and quantity) and your insistence on having other cats (and even dogs) in the house, to your bizarre toilet habits and our obsession with your socks.

Consider this your performance review from cats... and you don't come out well.

Yours sincerely,

Sidney Fishbone, Esq.

Vicky Halls is an acclaimed Pet Behaviour Counsellor with many years of experience treating behavioural problems in cats both in the UK and abroad. She is the author of seven best-selling books on cats for the general public, as well as several peer-reviewed papers for scientific journals. She is now devoting her time to unowned cats, working on projects for International Cat Care, to improve the welfare of free-roaming cats and those in shelters across the world. At home, Vicky is a slave to the demands of LC, her pre-loved elderly black moggie.

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