Never Mind the Bullocks

A Scotsman Non-Fiction Book of the Year

Vanessa Able wanted a truly independent Indian adventure, but nothing prepared her for the noise, chaos and terror of driving 10,000 km around the subcontinent or for finding the love of her life. Behind the wheel of a yellow Tata Nano (the world s cheapest car), Vanessa steers the reader through a hilarious, high-octane adventure.

Taking any help she can get from loopy spiritual gurus to professional driving instructors, and even a divine insurance policy she drives her way around an alien road network through India s white-knuckle traffic where vehicle size, full-beam lights and roads that simply disappear seem to trump all common sense. Narrowly escaping death by truck, she learns the real rules of the road, the vehicle pecking order, what to do when the SH11T hits the fan and to appreciate the true kings of the dusty tarmac: the bullocks.

En route, she falls hopelessly in love with a mathematician named Thor who might be, ironically, the worst driver she s ever met. Their romance does not start promisingly the first rendezvous is interrupted by that universal passion-killer, Delhi belly but will they survive unexpected sheep-jams, a car full of elephant slime, and the endless cacophony of horns?

“Terrific and terrifying in equal measure: a life-affirming, death-welcoming journey around the world s most dangerous roads in a wheeled toaster oven. - Tim Moore, author of French Revolutions, Do Not Pass Go and Gironimo!: Riding the Very Terrible 1914 Tour of Italy Vanessa is a gem - her writing is as effervescent and refreshing as diving naked into a lake of Champagne. - Olly Smith Engrossing... Not since Trudy Culross's epic, It Gets Better After Cairo, 26 years ago, has a gung-ho female adventurer made chaos seem like such fun. - The Scotsman Books of the Year Able's 10,000km road trip trundles throught the bits often left out of tourist itineraries - with a few romantic divergencies - creating a rich snapshot of a colossal country. - Wanderlust Readable, funny and smart. Her meeting with the Maharaja of Omkareshwar provides a great episode, worthy of Gerald Durrell. - Bookbag Travelling has never been this tough, never been this enjoyable and entertaining. A hilarious book, from an author that pulls no punches. - Postnoon Downright inspirational. - Moneylife An excellent and entertaining book. - Metrognome”

Terrific and terrifying in equal measure: a life-affirming, death-welcoming journey around the world s most dangerous roads in a wheeled toaster oven. - Tim Moore, author of French Revolutions, Do Not Pass Go and Gironimo!: Riding the Very Terrible 1914 Tour of Italy

Vanessa is a gem - her writing is as effervescent and refreshing as diving naked into a lake of Champagne. - Olly Smith

Engrossing... Not since Trudy Culross's epic, It Gets Better After Cairo, 26 years ago, has a gung-ho female adventurer made chaos seem like such fun. - The Scotsman Books of the Year

Able's 10,000km road trip trundles throught the bits often left out of tourist itineraries - with a few romantic divergencies - creating a rich snapshot of a colossal country. - Wanderlust

Readable, funny and smart. Her meeting with the Maharaja of Omkareshwar provides a great episode, worthy of Gerald Durrell. - Bookbag

Travelling has never been this tough, never been this enjoyable and entertaining. A hilarious book, from an author that pulls no punches. - Postnoon

Downright inspirational. - Moneylife

An excellent and entertaining book. - Metrognome

Vanessa Able began her travel writing career as a correspondent for an English-language weekly in post-Saddam Iraq. She then settled in Turkey where she became Editor in Chief of Time Out Istanbul, and she has also written for The Observer, National Geographic Traveler, Esquire and The New York Times.

Her love affair with travel and driving continued as she drove a Yugo through Serbia, a Chevy through the American deserts to the Pacific coast and a pimped-out Jeep Grand Cherokee in the abysmal traffic of Mexico City. Vanessa now lives between Rome and Jersey with her husband (Thor!). Follow her on Twitter: @vanessable

A Scotsman Non-Fiction Book of the Year Vanessa Able wanted a truly independent Indian adventure, but nothing prepared her for the noise, chaos and terror of driving 10,000 km around the subcontinent or for finding the love of her life. Behind the wheel of a yellow Tata Nano (the world s cheapest car), Vanessa steers the reader through a hilarious, high-octane adventure.Taking any help she can get from loopy spiritual gurus to professional driving instructors, and even a divine insurance policy she drives her way around an alien road network through India s white-knuckle traffic where vehicle size, full-beam lights and roads that simply disappear seem to trump all common sense. Narrowly escaping death by truck, she learns the real rules of the road, the vehicle pecking order, what to do when the SH11T hits the fan and to appreciate the true kings of the dusty tarmac: the bullocks. En route, she falls hopelessly in love with a mathematician named Thor who might be, ironically, the worst driver she s ever met. Their romance does not start promisingly the first rendezvous is interrupted by that universal passion-killer, Delhi belly but will they survive unexpected sheep-jams, a car full of elephant slime, and the endless cacophony of horns?

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