How to Find the Right Words

Life constantly requires us to give other people some hugely awkward messages: that we don't love them anymore; that we do love them (though we're not meant to); that they smell a bit; that they're fired; that we're furious with them (though we adore them) or that their music is too loud...

Often, out of embarrassment, we just stay quiet. Occasionally we explode. And typically, we stumble about, looking for the right words - dreading that we didn't find them and thereby causing more hurt than we should.

This is a book to help us locate the best possible words to get across a range of life's most difficult messages. With twenty case studies drawn from relationships, friendships, work, our families and service situations, we are gently shown what we might - in an ideal world - find ourselves saying to make our intentions known while causing minimal harm. We are guided, among other topics, to how best to end a relationship, how to make it up with a child and how gently to let down a friend who wants more.

We laugh, we recognise our troubles - and we're introduced to a range of deeply empathetic ways to navigate some of our most acute social dilemmas.

“What readers are saying: 'This is a little gem of a book. In School of life language, (which I hear in my head as the voice of Alain de Botton) which just succinctly, and without arrogance explains some clear ways of articulating difficult conversations or thoughts with family, friends, partners, work colleagues and strangers. There's something for everyone. Would be a perfect stocking filler gift.' - NetGalley review 'A helpful little book. Sometimes it's so hard to find just the right words to say in difficult situations. This book can help with that.' - NetGalley review 'This is a cute short read offering many suggestions to how to get around the awkward situations that are unavoidable in life. They are bound to happen at one point or another, don't get caught off guard! This book will help you tackle these situations with grace and confidence.' - NetGalley review 'The School of Life puts out some lovely books, and this is similarly stellar. There are some golden nuggets in here about areas of life that people rarely discuss.' - Goodreads review 'A small book but with some very good advice. We all need help in delivering difficult messages, or in finding more subtle and socially acceptable ways to avoid the direct route.' - Goodreads review 'A warm, supportive book. A short read but containing plenty of moments I went back to re-read and really think about. A lovely reminder that when we're communicating, what we really want to do is extend and experience kindness - easier said than done!' - NetGalley review "I found [this book] to be very insightful, practical, and helpful. It's a book that would make a fine addition to your library as it's one you'll want to refer to again and again as new situations arise in your life." - NetGalley review "This book provides a good idea about how to find the right words to convey your feeling without flaring passion."- NetGalley review "This is a really helpful book to think about how to approach difficult conversations in many different areas of life."- NetGalley review "This is a really helpful book to think about how to approach difficult conversations in many different areas of life."- NetGalley review "[This book] addressed some of the most awkward situations from "I just want us to be friends" to "I've screwed up at work" with accompanying conversation prompts to help you tactfully navigate these situations with minimal harm. ... This book was a great read." - NetGalley review”

What readers are saying:

'This is a little gem of a book. In School of life language, (which I hear in my head as the voice of Alain de Botton) which just succinctly, and without arrogance explains some clear ways of articulating difficult conversations or thoughts with family, friends, partners, work colleagues and strangers. There's something for everyone. Would be a perfect stocking filler gift.' - NetGalley review

'A helpful little book. Sometimes it's so hard to find just the right words to say in difficult situations. This book can help with that.' - NetGalley review

'This is a cute short read offering many suggestions to how to get around the awkward situations that are unavoidable in life. They are bound to happen at one point or another, don't get caught off guard! This book will help you tackle these situations with grace and confidence.' - NetGalley review

'The School of Life puts out some lovely books, and this is similarly stellar. There are some golden nuggets in here about areas of life that people rarely discuss.' - Goodreads review

'A small book but with some very good advice. We all need help in delivering difficult messages, or in finding more subtle and socially acceptable ways to avoid the direct route.' - Goodreads review

'A warm, supportive book. A short read but containing plenty of moments I went back to re-read and really think about. A lovely reminder that when we're communicating, what we really want to do is extend and experience kindness - easier said than done!' - NetGalley review

"I found [this book] to be very insightful, practical, and helpful. It's a book that would make a fine addition to your library as it's one you'll want to refer to again and again as new situations arise in your life." -NetGalley review

"This book provides a good idea about how to find the right words to convey your feeling without flaring passion."- NetGalley review

"This is a really helpful book to think about how to approach difficult conversations in many different areas of life."- NetGalley review

"This is a really helpful book to think about how to approach difficult conversations in many different areas of life."- NetGalley review

"[This book] addressed some of the most awkward situations from "I just want us to be friends" to "I've screwed up at work" with accompanying conversation prompts to help you tactfully navigate these situations with minimal harm. ... This book was a great read." - NetGalley review

The School of Life is a global organisation helping people lead more fulfilled lives. Through our range of books, gifts and stationery we aim to prompt more thoughtful natures and help everyone to find fulfilment.

The School of Life Press brings together the thinking and ideas of the School of Life creative team under the direction of series editor, Alain de Botton. Their books share a coherent, curated message that speaks with one voice: calm, reassuring and sane.

Life constantly requires us to give other people some hugely awkward messages: that we don't love them anymore; that we do love them (though we're not meant to); that they smell a bit; that they're fired; that we're furious with them (though we adore them) or that their music is too loud...Often, out of embarrassment, we just stay quiet. Occasionally we explode. And typically, we stumble about, looking for the right words - dreading that we didn't find them and thereby causing more hurt than we should.This is a book to help us locate the best possible words to get across a range of life's most difficult messages. With twenty case studies drawn from relationships, friendships, work, our families and service situations, we are gently shown what we might - in an ideal world - find ourselves saying to make our intentions known while causing minimal harm. We are guided, among other topics, to how best to end a relationship, how to make it up with a child and how gently to let down a friend who wants more.We laugh, we recognise our troubles - and we're introduced to a range of deeply empathetic ways to navigate some of our most acute social dilemmas.

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